I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Randomize
