I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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