I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
