I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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