garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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