K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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