I murdered the dance floor call the cops
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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