Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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