I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
