Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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