Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
