I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
