Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize