For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize
