This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
whose ass print is on the piano?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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