Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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