No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
