Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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