I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
