turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
