Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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