He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
