Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
