if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
