Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
