how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
