he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
It was confusing and full of hummus
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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