walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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