i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
