Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
