It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
