I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize