Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
