i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
