Tell her she can't have a vagina
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
