Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you guys were way drunker than both of me
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
did i just pee glitter
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
