I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize