I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
