whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
if only i could text you this smell
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
