Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
