ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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