No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
