I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize