but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
