There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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