My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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