when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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