R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
