I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize