they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
