okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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