false alarm. still invincible.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
