is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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