I want to make a zoo with you.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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