I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize