Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
