You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize
