I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
