My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize