i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
