Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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