As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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