He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
