I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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