Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
