If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
