Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
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