All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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