im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
