I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
