You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
We need to rekindle our bromance
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
