I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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