remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
