so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
