Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
smell my finger.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
